רַחֲמִים (rachamim) - The singular noun רֶחֶם (rechem) means womb. Because rachamim shares this root, biblical commentators link mercy to the visceral, protective love a mother feels for the child she carried. It is not a cold or abstract legal decision, but a deep, gut-level feeling of care.
My name is Ginni Cook, a Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Aunt, and a friend to many. Over 5 years ago I heard words a mother never wants to hear in a court about her son, “Guilty on all counts.” How could this happen to the little one I raised into adulthood, loving, kind, and playful. We attended church as a family every week, attended Bible study, and I even taught Bible studies to women in my home. I was a deacon in my church, a practicing nurse, and a leader in West Baltimore’s Christian Women’s Club when my three children were growing up. I never could have imagined that I would add to those Titles “Mother of a son in prison for a 30-year sentence.”
Until about 2 years ago he refused to let me visit or talk with him. He wouldn’t call and I couldn’t call him. I sent multiple unanswered letters. I think I only received two back in the first 14 years. All I could do was pray about it and have a deep sadness for that hole in my life.
Previously when I was asked about my family, I mention that I have three children and an additional three in a now blended family. I stayed away from discussing where they were and what they all do to avoid admitting one is in prison. To me it was shameful and I was ashamed to admit my failure as a parent.
It really doesn’t matter the details of his crimes; the fact is he was guilty and sentenced. I experienced guilt that I had missed providing something he needed or somehow had failed him as a mother. I was embarrassed and never shared it with anyone that didn’t already know or talk about his crimes against humanity. I was sentenced with him in my mind and felt ashamed of him as well. The worst part is that he didn’t want to own his guilt and was angry at me because I knew he was guilty while he conned so many others of his innocence.
God has helped me relieve my feelings of guilt and not own what he did on his own adult volition and accord. Now I will share at church and close circles of friends about my son and request they join me in prayer for him. I am feeling that there are other women out there that feel the same way that I did and hide their secret shame. It diminishes the Grace God has shown us in our life with His sacrificial forgiveness of our personal sins, those are the only ones we are responsible for in His sight. We do need to forgive them for the pain they have caused us, their families, and friends. He still has not asked for my forgiveness or openly admitted his guilt.
Perhaps I can help some other mothers find healing as I have with the help of Jesus in my life. That is why I am going public with this admission of my circumstances and the journey I am on.
רַחֲמִים (rachamim) - The singular noun רֶחֶם (rechem) means womb. Because rachamim shares this root, biblical commentators link mercy to the visceral, protective love a mother feels for the child she carried. It is not a cold or abstract legal decision, but a deep, gut-level feeling of care.
My name is Ginni Cook, a Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Aunt, and a friend to many. Over 5 years ago I heard words a mother never wants to hear in a court about her son, “Guilty on all counts.” How could this happen to the little one I raised into adulthood, loving, kind, and playful. We attended church as a family every week, attended Bible study, and I even taught Bible studies to women in my home. I was a deacon in my church, a practicing nurse, and a leader in West Baltimore’s Christian Women’s Club when my three children were growing up. I never could have imagined that I would add to those Titles “Mother of a son in prison for a 30-year sentence.”
Until about 2 years ago he refused to let me visit or talk with him. He wouldn’t call and I couldn’t call him. I sent multiple unanswered letters. I think I only received two back in the first 14 years. All I could do was pray about it and have a deep sadness for that hole in my life.
Previously when I was asked about my family, I mention that I have three children and an additional three in a now blended family. I stayed away from discussing where they were and what they all do to avoid admitting one is in prison. To me it was shameful and I was ashamed to admit my failure as a parent.
It really doesn’t matter the details of his crimes; the fact is he was guilty and sentenced. I experienced guilt that I had missed providing something he needed or somehow had failed him as a mother. I was embarrassed and never shared it with anyone that didn’t already know or talk about his crimes against humanity. I was sentenced with him in my mind and felt ashamed of him as well. The worst part is that he didn’t want to own his guilt and was angry at me because I knew he was guilty while he conned so many others of his innocence.
God has helped me relieve my feelings of guilt and not own what he did on his own adult volition and accord. Now I will share at church and close circles of friends about my son and request they join me in prayer for him. I am feeling that there are other women out there that feel the same way that I did and hide their secret shame. It diminishes the Grace God has shown us in our life with His sacrificial forgiveness of our personal sins, those are the only ones we are responsible for in His sight. We do need to forgive them for the pain they have caused us, their families, and friends. He still has not asked for my forgiveness or openly admitted his guilt.
Perhaps I can help some other mothers find healing as I have with the help of Jesus in my life. That is why I am going public with this admission of my circumstances and the journey I am on.
My name is Ginni Cook, a Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Aunt, and a friend to many. Over 5 years ago I heard words a mother never wants to hear in a court about her son, “Guilty on all counts.” How could this happen to the little one I raised into adulthood, loving, kind, and playful. We attended church as a family every week, attended Bible study, and I even taught Bible studies to women in my home. I was a deacon in my church, a practicing nurse, and a leader in West Baltimore’s Christian Women’s Club when my three children were growing up. I never could have imagined that I would add to those Titles “Mother of a son in prison for a 30-year sentence.”
Until about 2 years ago he refused to let me visit or talk with him. He wouldn’t call and I couldn’t call him. I sent multiple unanswered letters. I think I only received two back in the first 14 years. All I could do was pray about it and have a deep sadness for that hole in my life.
Previously when I was asked about my family, I mention that I have three children and an additional three in a now blended family. I stayed away from discussing where they were and what they all do to avoid admitting one is in prison. To me it was shameful and I was ashamed to admit my failure as a parent.
It really doesn’t matter the details of his crimes; the fact is he was guilty and sentenced. I experienced guilt that I had missed providing something he needed or somehow had failed him as a mother. I was embarrassed and never shared it with anyone that didn’t already know or talk about his crimes against humanity. I was sentenced with him in my mind and felt ashamed of him as well. The worst part is that he didn’t want to own his guilt and was angry at me because I knew he was guilty while he conned so many others of his innocence.
God has helped me relieve my feelings of guilt and not own what he did on his own adult volition and accord. Now I will share at church and close circles of friends about my son and request they join me in prayer for him. I am feeling that there are other women out there that feel the same way that I did and hide their secret shame. It diminishes the Grace God has shown us in our life with His sacrificial forgiveness of our personal sins, those are the only ones we are responsible for in His sight. We do need to forgive them for the pain they have caused us, their families, and friends. He still has not asked for my forgiveness or openly admitted his guilt.
Perhaps I can help some other mothers find healing as I have with the help of Jesus in my life. That is why I am going public with this admission of my circumstances and the journey I am on.